Greetings bald monkeys. Sparta Puss here. I have taken control of the pooter box while the apes are out. It’s been a while. The monkeys play with their pooters all the time. Anyway, lots been happening since I last addressed you. I’ve been hunting loads of rats and bringing them in and throwing them at the apes. They’re a bit thick and it took them ages to take the hint. There are rats in the compost bin. Idiots. Anyway,they went and emptied the compost and the biggest rat I’ve ever seen ran out! Too big for me – I scarpered up the wall and watched.
The she-monkey was hilarious. She tried to climb the wall too! And the shrieking! Oh if you’d heard her shrieking you’d have laughed as much as I did. Anyway, the male ape, give him some credit, dispatched the rat quickly, but then he buried it! What’s the point of that? It would have fed the three of us! And Little Ming too. I’ll never get the hang of these moronic monkeys.
The she-monkey has been smearing dirt into a paper book again and she claims that the grubby page above looks like me. Humour her, poor dear. It was when I was sitting on top of the boiler overlooking the garden, my favourite place, being menaced by some tulips. I bit them.
Ciaou Miaou
Sparta Puss
It’s great fun to screw with the ape’s minds, isn’t it Sparta? Rats in the house are great fun, especially if ya want a great reaction from the She-ape. Over here in the States, we’d call it going “ape-shit”. But if ya really wanna see em go ballistic cause your sick and tired of eating cat food everyday and could stand a change of menu, try scratching the hell outta their furniture or spraying urine all over the place.
Hansi Puss
Thank you for that Hansi Puss. Like they NEED any encouragement. Scratching the furniture is a daily activity but spraying urine is easily sorted – cut their goolies off! Be warned 😉
Sparta Puss, has the she-monkey mentioned the word Idaho to you yet?
NOW YOU’VE GONE AND DONE IT! No Sparta, please Sparta, I’m sorry……
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