Archive | 20:28

Ming And The Mickey Finn

2 Aug

02 scooter

Greetings bald monkeys. Sparta Puss here. I’ve managed to wrest the pooter box from my trained apes. It’s been a while, but frankly, I couldn’t be bothered to do anything much in this hot weather except lie around in a shady nook and throw a few half-dead rats at my hairless she-ape.  It amuses me.

We had a bit of excitement. My fellow goddess, Ming the Merciless had an ingrowing claw, so my bald he-monkey phoned the vetape to make an appointment and he clearly told the vetape that Ming is a complete and utter psychopath and would have to be slipped a Mickey Finn or she would try to murder him. So he agreed and my bald he-monkey took Ming the Merciless to the vetape and when he got there he took her into a room where there was a vetape, a nursemonkey and a Mickey Finn.

Now the thing about Ming is that she is very tiny, very fluffy and has only one eye. And all the hoomankeys think she’s cute. FOOLS! So the vetape said he’d cut her claws without a Mickey Finn and my trained monkey said ‘NO, she’ll go nuts’ but the vetape and nursemonkey were cooing over Ming and ignored my bald ape. So she made them bleed. Lots. That’ll teach ’em.

The she-ape went away to England and came back with a drawing of a foreign cat called Scooter. She is a tabby stripey cat who moves around her house lying in the puddles of sunlight. I like her style.

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