Archive | 19:51

#Catitude

6 Aug

sparta spindle

Greetings Trained Monkeys. Sparta Puss here. The hairless apes have left the pooter box unattended again. I’ve had a fun 24 hours. Last night, I hid in the rhubarb patch when the she-simian was looking for me to get me to come in – I’m curfewed from dusk because I’m a murderer. She ran all over the place, then hassled the he-monkey to go out in the dark and look for me in his pyjamas and slippers in the rain. I sauntered in after she put some Dreamies into my bowl. Hilarious.

Then this morning I bit the female when she tried to brush me – “you’ll get furballs”, she said and gave up and went to put something called antiseptic cream on her hand. Then I went looking for somewhere to sick up a furball. The apes don’t have nice carpets, it’s all wood and tiles but there’s one rug in the house so I threw up on that. Then this evening the she-ape was lurking by the stairs where I was sitting, with one of her dirt sticks and a buk. She makes strange marks with her dirt sticks in the buk and then says it look like me. She’s an idiot! Anyway, as soon as she began, I started fidgeting and kept it up, even though she was cooing at me and asking me to sit still for a while because I was making it impossible for her to ‘draw’ me. Hah! That’ll teach her.

 

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