Yo Humans. It is I, Sparta Puss. I haven’t been able to get my paws on the pooter box for ages because the bald monkeys I live with are ALWAYS hogging it. Idiots. The she-ape has had me on a diet. She says she’s fed up with people fat-shaming me on Facebook, whatever that is. So I’m on healthy rations. That’s what she calls it. I call it starvation! All the hairless apes in the family are cooing at me and telling me how nice I look but I DON’T CARE! There was a book a while back called “Fat Is A Feminist Issue”. Well I say that Fat Is A Felinist Issue and the monkeys should give me back my food. If I don’t care about having a bingo-belly then it’s none of their business to be bothered.
In solidarity, my felinista friends. I’ll try and get my paws on the pooter quicker next time.
