Fat Is A Felinist Issue

9 Oct

orange sparta


Yo Humans. It is I, Sparta Puss. I haven’t been able to get my paws on the pooter box for ages because the bald monkeys I live with are ALWAYS hogging it. Idiots. The she-ape has had me on a diet. She says she’s fed up with people fat-shaming me on Facebook, whatever that is. So I’m on healthy rations. That’s what she calls it. I call it starvation! All the hairless apes in the family are cooing at me and telling me how nice I look but I DON’T CARE! There was a book a while back called “Fat Is A Feminist Issue”. Well I say that Fat Is A Felinist Issue and the monkeys should give me back my food. If I don’t care about having a bingo-belly then it’s none of their business to be bothered.

In solidarity, my felinista friends.   I’ll try and get my paws on the pooter quicker next time.

11 Responses to “Fat Is A Felinist Issue”

  1. Leonie Andrews October 12, 2019 at 11:39 #


  2. Alli Farkas October 11, 2019 at 20:09 #

    Geez Sparta I thought maybe you were dead! Of course, you might be soon if you don’t get your accustomed rations back.

  3. Leonie Andrews October 10, 2019 at 22:55 #

    Hey Sparta, you better show the she-ape that fat is necessary for surviving winter.https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.usatoday.com/amp/3917452002

    • Rosie Scribblah October 12, 2019 at 10:26 #

      You know, she really doesn’t need any encouragement!

  4. Leonie Andrews October 10, 2019 at 12:39 #

    Hello Sparta Puss, so good to hear from you again. How cruel those bald apes can be. I know a feline called Stickies, whose bald ape Nina Katchadourian makes him do her art opening promotions on Instagram. I’m sure you and Stickies would have a lot to day to each other.

  5. Catwoods October 9, 2019 at 23:02 #

    Sparta Puss you are not alone! Franklin finds the diet idea Not Cool!

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